Very EssentiaI Important New Year’s Life Changing Resolutions

image 1)  Gradually phase out odd socks by stealthily replacing them with matching socks. I’ve had various reactions to my habit of wearing them ranging from “It’s charming that you don’t care” to my Sister’s “It must take so much effort”. In truth it is neither charming nor a deliberate effort. It’s merely a side effect of having a very disorganised storage system. My chest of drawers is overflowing: tights and socks spill out of it like a two year old trying to eat a rocket sandwich. 2) Do Edinburgh without having a breakdown. 3) Spend more time looking in to other people’s eyes than looking at Facebook. 4) Live somewhere that doesn’t have moss in the bathroom. I’ve nothing against moss. Or bathrooms. But never the twain should meet. 5) Continue to watch Ink Masters because it is the most monstrously brilliant tv ever invented and everyone needs at least one very dirty habit. 6) Ignore click bait 7) Bait ignoramuses 8) Meet Bignor Muses 9) Cut down on tenuous word play 10) Eat more fish

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